Confused on a Higher, Deeper Level

For the last year I have been taking classes with a small group of people who, at least on the surface, aspire to be lay ministers in the Catholic church. I have no doubts that all of us are sincere in this goal but I also suspect that we are together because we are all searchers. We want to go farther and deeper in asking the basic questions of existence and how they are answered, or not answered, in our tradition. We want to help others but we are also seeking to meet some deep hunger in ourselves. I spent what I hope was the first half of my life chasing after academic knowledge in the belief that it would somehow make me a better person. I want to spend the rest of my life seeking what I call ‘heart-knowledge’. This quest is not one which provides a lot of easy answers but I am convinced the questions are important. If the answers leave me “confused on a higher, deeper, level about more important things” that is perhaps better than having perfect understanding of answers found on a lower, basic level about less important things.


About Edward

Dishwasher, bartender, cook, house painter, movie usher, Marine helicopter pilot, teacher, administrator, teacher again, retired teacher, Secular Franciscan, Lay Ecclesial Minister- it's been an interesting ride.
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