With the end of the electoral season fast approaching I sense opportunity. I am going to establish the ‘Montgomery Group” and become a ‘senior adviser’. Depending on who wins I’ll go on one network and explain why a candidate lost, or go on another network and explain why a candidate won. If I am lucky, the candidate I support will lose because it seems like the most visible talking heads on the news shows helped run losing campaigns; I suppose if they had run winning campaigns they would still be employed and hence, unavailable for appearances. I am ‘senior’, I have ‘gravitas’, and I can blame others as well as anybody, perhaps better.
I think I will get the whole family involved. My journalist daughter can be a ‘communications expert’ perhaps ‘communications director’ because that sounds tonier and she has been directing my comments for years so it wouldn’t be a stretch. My son-in-law, a political science major, could be a ‘senior POLITICAL analyst’ thus adding another word to his title. My son could be a ‘senior defense analyst’ since he’s on active duty in the military. He’s not that senior, but whoever saw a ‘junior analyst’ on any Sunday morning show? My youngest daughter could be a ‘domestic policy adviser’ because she is going into social work and my current exchange student could be a ‘foreign policy adviser’ since she has actually been in other countries as well as seeing them from her house and she speaks more than one language.
In a few years, I’ll turn the whole outfit over to my son-in-law because with his name we could be the “Moore-Montgomery Group” adding a subliminal signal that even more of us could only be better. We could all then write ‘tell-all’ books trashing both sides of any political debate because negativity sells and we’d double our market share with careful planning. Why haven’t I mentioned my wife? She is a ‘senior educational adviser’ in the area of junior high English so she’s too busy doing something that actually matters.